Rating: C
Dir: Dean Meadows
Star: Dean Meadows, Emma Fletcher, Eileen Daly, Peter Jakeson
I reviewed Meadows’ directorial debut, Scarlett Cross: Agents of D.E.A.T.H over on Girls With Guns. And, really, much of what I said there could easily be repurposed here for his follow-up. Not least the opening sentence: “To be honest, I enjoyed this a good bit more than the rating above would indicate.” Make no mistake, this is ultra low-budget, with ambitions well beyond its means. For example, it’s supposed to take place in London. But it was actually shot in Barnstaple. For those who don’t know, that is a town in Devon, with a population of roughly thirty thousand. It is therefore, in no shape, size or form, an adequate stand-in for the United Kingdom’s capital.
However, I’m giving it slack, because Meadows seems like a guy with whom I’d get along very well. He has gone from girls with guns, to what is basically a homage to another part of cinema I love: Hammer horror. This pays tribute to their late-period Dracula films where a cult looks to resurrect the Count through human sacrifice, etc. Leading the group here is Elizabeth (Daly), who name-checks both Scars of Dracula and Taste the Blood of Dracula in the same speech: she later almost gives us a reprise of Ingrid Pitt’s bloody bath from Countess Dracula. Given Daly is now in her mid-sixties, the restraint may be for the best (sheesh, Razor Blade Smile was almost thirty years ago?). Also present is Pauline Peart, who played a vampire bride in The Satanic Rites of Dracula.
Meanwhile, representing the forces of light are DCI Jessica Murray (Fletcher) and disgraced ex-cop and occult expert Gabriel Lee (Meadows). The latter is also trying to protect Zoe Van Helsing, last descendant of the line, while Elizabeth wants to feed her to the reborn Count Dracula (Jakeson), as a “Welcome back from the grave” present. I must say, the police here are remarkably chill about the explanation for the wave of bloody murders which has swept across Barnstable sorry, London. They’re basically happy to take Gabriel’s word for it, despite him looking more like a football hooligan on parole, than an intellectual authority on dark magic. Quite how he became that, is left largely unexplained.
The performances here are a mixed bag, to put it mildly. Fortunately, those that get most screen time are generally okay. Daly sinks her fangs into the scenery with good effect, and Fletcher is nicely grounded. Once you get past Meadows’ appearance, you may eventually warm to his rough and ready approach, and a willingness to solve a problem by punching it repeatedly, in lieu of intellectual engagement. Further down the cast? Not so much. Treat this as a Hammer fan film, manage your expectations accordingly, and you’ll be fine. But, to recycle another line from my previous review, “If I had twenty quid with which to make a movie, it could end up looking something like this.” I might even stretch as far as thirty pounds here, so that’s progress.