Rating: D+
Dir: Kevin MacDonald.
Star: Brandon Stumpf, Tony Moran, Ally Tully, P.J. Soles.
The Ryan family have just moved to Salem. Yeah: the one with the witches. There’s detective Steve Ryan (Stumpf), blandly forgettable wife Jodie, and sullen teenage daughter Kaylee (Tully). Steve’s presence is welcome, because a serial killer is operating, having just killed his – or her, let’s not assume anyone’s gender identity – fourth victim. In charge of the investigation is Jack Fox (Moran), a hard-bitten and burnt-out cop, on the edge of enforced retirement. We know, but the authorities do not, that the killer is wearing a jack-o’-lantern mask while they operate. Could this be tied to creepy teacher Nathan McVay (Tony Todd), who is having an affair with a former student and has an encyclopedic knowledge of Halloween traditions?
“I feel like I’m in a bad eighties horror movie!” squeaks Kaylee, on learning about the town’s dark history. So close, sweetheart, and yet so far. Off by three decades. You are, in fact, in a bad tens horror movie, pretending to be a bad eighties horror movie. By which I mean writer-director MacDonald seems aware of all the clichés, he just thinks repeating them is all you need do for a nostalgic throwback. Killer POV, sorority houses, and a Harry Manfredini score illustrate this point nicely. The results are a sad waste of a cast who deserve better. Of course, Moran and Soles were both in Halloween, Todd is a genre icon, plus you have (more or less minor) roles for Tiffany Shepis, Debbie Rochon and Michael Berryman.
The issues here are many. Photography which starts at murky, and goes down from there. Audio which starts at inconsistent, and goes down from there. A plot which feels as if whole scenes are missing: try to follow what happens to Shepis’s character, Alice Monroe, and you’ll see what I mean. There’s a flashback, presumably from years earlier, which you don’t immediately realize is a flashback, in part because Moran looks exactly the same. I will say, this does deliver on the gratuitous nudity. The “college girls” here whip off their tops, literally at the drop of a beer pong ball. The violence is occasionally decent, when you’re not peering into the darkness to find it, as previously discussed.
These exploitation elements can only take you so far, given the other problems. There’s no sense of progression in the story, with no real development of plot or characters. Kill. Police are baffled. Repeat until the end credits. Oh, except for Rochon’s appearance at the end, which feels like another case where pages went missing. Todd’s explanation about the origins of Halloween is the only scene with any resonance. I can see how this could have been financed in the eighties, when video stores were desperate for product. Would have expected the 2010s to know better, but I guess a few names and some cool cover art were still sufficient to raise funds, and trick suckers into watching this. It certainly fooled me.