Interceptor (2022)

Rating: E

Dir: Matthew Reilly
Star: Elsa Pataky, Luke Bracey, Aaron Glenane, Mayen Mehta

Give up now for this is both a Netflix film and Chris Hemsworth executive produced.

  • Positives:  Hemsworth appears and is likably chuckle-worthy.  (Sorry for the mild and unintended pun.)
  • Negatives:  Everything else.

You want to read more?  Really??  Okay here are my notes verbatim, because I can’t be arsed to write anything more about this crap: (you’re welcome!)

Exact location: CLASSIFIED… WTF, it’s film FFS…

‘Captain Collins, welcome back.’  Reluctantly.  And they’ve put someone with ‘some history’ back on a super-top-secret floating base that is (now) America’s last and only defence against ICBMs.  And one that is about to be compromised.

Well.  It starts very quickly.  No spare.

Janitors!  Really?  They have independent machine-gun wielding, acid-backed, janitors on a top-top secret base.  Miles from anywhere.  In a top-secret location.  Oh.  And there’s a piece of plywood used as a floor covering in the super-secure control centre.  Did they use the Death Star’s architect?  Fucking hell!

Where’s a Hans Gruber quality villain when you need one?  Erm, and a script.

It’s trying so very hard to be something.  Clever, smart.  Instead it’s horribly shallow.  I suppose it’s trying to be a modern Ameri-can morality tale.

Oh god the bombastic music, 5… 4….. 3…….. 2…………. …ENOUGH!!!  FFS!  ‘Interceptors launched!’  My ears are crying!  JUST STOP!!!

And the ending is, well, dreadful, madam president.

D- it’s derivative drivel.

And yeah, that’s all you get.  It’s shite.  And possibly more worthy of an ‘E’… …yeah… …E for execrable.