Rating: C-
Dir: Gary King
Star: Christina Rose, Jack Abele, William Lee, Michael Blaustein
To be fair, this might have worked better back at the time it was made, when a zombie spoof would have seemed at least marginally relevant. Also in the film’s defense, the makers seem to realize simply being a zombie spoof isn’t enough. It’s considerably broader, also taking loose aim at kung-fu films (most obviously The Karate Kid), high-school and even other bad movies, borrowing lines from Troll 2 and The Room. It’s not exactly Airplane! Then again, few films are, and the self-aware approach here works to dilute any criticism. The movie knows it’s more than a bit crap. It doesn’t need me to tell it.
Wanda (Rose) is a poor, nerdy high-school girl, bullied by the cheerleaders despite taking karate lessons from her sex pervert sensei (Abele, looking disturbingly like Joe Biden) in his Mojo Dojo – yeah, that is another reference well past its sell-by date. He’s got a rival in town (Lee), who trains Evil Ninjas, and whose star pupil, Donnie (Blaustein) kicks Wanda’s butt in a tournament. On the way home, the Evil Ninja bus ploughs into two scientists disposing of toxic waste, turning them into flesh-eating Evil Ninjas. After her sensei is torn in half by his nemesis, Wanda now represents the last hope of humanity, having to fend off the zombie ninjas and zombie cheerleaders, while also working to find a cure for the affliction.
A film splitting its goals across action, comedy and horror is almost inevitably going to be spreading itself thin, and that’s the case here. It’s not very good in any of them, to be honest. But it’s not terrible either – or at least, is terrible in ways that can be appreciated. Such as the way Wanda’s fight with the head cheerleader, suddenly relocates to a paddling pool containing chocolate pudding. This and the gratuitous nudity might be creepy, if these weren’t the least convincing “teenagers” this side of Delinquent Schoolgirls. That aside, Rose does a decent job. She makes for a convincing enough geek, making her transformation into a zombie ass-kicker – complete with a cute little costume – into a charming surprise.
Still, it’s not really enough to push this past marginal. Some of the humour does hit, such as Wanda’s sensei pausing the obligatory training scene to tell her, “We’re halfway through this montage, and you’re as terrible as ever!” However, for every joke that lands, several fall flat, either through poor execution, or because Leslie Nielsen couldn’t salvage them. The badly-concealed stunt double for the sensei would be an example of the latter: this is a marginal joke even the first time you see it, and that isn’t the last. It’s little more than the film beating the audience to the punch in pointing out its deficiencies, since neither the action choreography nor the gore effects are more than intermittently adequate. Though I can’t hate a film where a zombie gets its testicles torn off (top) and used as nunchaku.
The film is out now on or digital platforms such as Amazon Prime Video, and is also available to view on AVOD.