Rating: C
Dir: Su Yu
Star: Jenna Wang, Terry Zhang, Zhang De Hui, Paul Kaye
This one stems from relatively early in the When Chinese Animals Attack cycle, being released in November 2019. Given this, it’s interesting to note how many of the standard tropes – things which have become clichés since – are already present here in full effect. From your list of WCAA traditional plot elements, you can quickly tick off: the missing relative; a shady corporation; genetic experimentation; a jungle hermit; the fat comic relief; and the large, dodgy gwailo with a fondness for shooting first and asking questions later. It’s possible these might have seemed fresh and interesting at the time the film was originally released. Now, they’re too familiar, though the execution of them in this case is at a marginally acceptable level.
The relative in question is the fiancé of Chen Jing (Wang), who has gone missing while on a reptile-related expedition in the jungle. Chen goes along on the subsequent search and rescue operation, which leads to all the other elements, beginning with foreign devil A-One (Kaye, if my Google Translate skills are up to snuff), who is clearly untrustworthy because he is sporting a man-bun. Subsequently, to nobody in the audience’s great surprise, the shady corporation has been carrying out genetic experiments on the local fauna – particularly the alligators – and they have become a bit bitey as a result. In addition, they now appear capable of working together. If there’s one thing worse than a single, enhanced alligator, it would be a whole pack of them, collaborating as a team.
At least they’re not using tools, I guess – fun though that would be. However, they turn out to be largely bulletproof (especially in the dark), and indeed, harpoon proof. There are also some local inhabitants who appear displeased with the presence of the visitors, and I wondered if this was going to drift into Italian cannibal movie at this point. No such luck – it’s more sacrificial. Though we do get a coda where a narrator solemnly intones (over shots of asteroids heading towards Earth, for no reason I could fathom), “Who is the real cold-blooded animal?” It is close enough to Holocaust‘s “I wonder who the real cannibals are?” to make me think this was not an accident.
The most fun thing here is probably the scenery chewing of A-One, who is so hammily evil it’s entertaining. After they find a video of her boyfriend’s fate, he tells Chen in English, “You heard the sound of your fiance’s bones breaking. Did you like listening to that? Was it music to your ears?” Mind you, the way the subtitles translate his references to “lab rats” as “librarians”, do make me suspect other things may have been lost in translation. You won’t be at all shocked by his eventual fate. As in so many other areas, this stays for its finale resolutely between the lines of its genre.
This review is part of our feature, When Chinese Animals Attack.