Rating: B
Dir: Nik Kacevski
Star: Joshua Brennan, Charlotte Best, Goran D. Kleut, Shae Beadman
a.k.a. Skinford
The crimes of small-time crook Jimmy Skinford (Brennan) have finally caught up with him. He’s now digging his own grave at gunpoint, having ripped off crime boss Falkov (Kleut). Just when the end is nigh, he finds another body already in the hole. Worse, its hand reaches out and grabs Jimmy as the bullets fly into him. But miraculously, he’s somehow unhurt. The body in question belongs to Zophia (Best), who has been blessed, or cursed, with immortality, a talent which extends to anyone she is touching. Needless to say, this presents an obvious opportunity for Jimmy – not least to help his terminally-ill father – but when word gets out about Zophie’s ability, the pair become the local area’s most wanted couple.
The above may seem weird enough. Yet it’s only scratching the surface. For example, the truck belonging to Falkov which Jimmy “lost”? Full of trafficked women. In their underwear. Including his ex-girlfriend. Who have all had bombs implanted in their abdomens. By a mad, East European surgeon. Why? No idea. Or the psychotic prepubescent girl (top) who appears to be Falkov’s boss, or something. What’s that about? No idea. The film is considerably better at throwing things out there than explaining them, and that goes for the nature of Zophie’s curse as well. Turns out she received it from someone, and that person holds the key to Zophie passing it on, and getting the blessed release she desires. For immortality, as usual in movies, is not all it’s cracked up to be.
Either despite, or because of the wildness, this is quite the ride. It’s a violent, foul-mouthed and bizarre film, but we found it quite compelling. The makers are fully committed to its nature, and you rarely get the sense they pulled back from the results. Brennan and Best make their characters an interesting odd couple – though to be fair, just about everyone in this deserves to be classified as “odd” by normal standards. This leads to a contrast between elements that are painfully grounded, and those which appear to take place in some alternate universe where the usual rules of biology and physics don’t apply. On that basis, you have to cut it some slack for the lack of coherence: it likely makes more sense to its participants than viewers.
I’m trying to find films to which I can compare this, and struggling. He Never Died might be about the closest, sharing a mash-up of elements which range from the almost spiritual to the brutally earthy. This might be superior, simply due to the imaginative parade of characters and situations which it offers. There’s one particular sequence, in which one of the trafficked women returns to her former captor, that defies description. You have a horrible feeling you know where it’s going, but you can’t believe the makers will have the Antipodean balls to make it end as you suspect. It doesn’t. It’s probably worse, and also demonstrates the correct way to use CGI – to do things practical effects can’t manage.
One final note. The recent re-release of this under its new title seems to have confused some reviewers into thinking it’s a third entry in the franchise. I was particularly amused by one self-professed “professional film critic”, who wrote, “As someone who was not a fan of the previous films, I had hopes that this entry would finally win me over. Unfortunately, it falls short and ends up being one of the weakest films in the series to date.” Er… it is one of the previous films, you blithering imbecile. If you’d seen them, you would know. Maybe this is what happens when you let AI write reviews for you?