Rating: C
Dir: Charles F. Haas.
Star: Mamie Van Doren, Mel Tormé, Ray Anthony, Maggie Hayes.
Having recently done a Jayne Mansfield film, Too Hot to Handle, I figured I should also cover the other much-touted Marilyn Monroe wannabe in Van Doren. This was one in a series of juvenile delinquent/rock and roll movies she made in the late fifties, and in this case, it’s Paul Anka who supplies the warblings, making his feature debut. It’s fascinating to see a time when pop idols dressed like they were going to interview for a bank job, with enough hair-oil to grease a shipyard slipway. And sing Ave Maria too, in a way which brings Van Doren to the verge of tears. Or a toe-curling orgasm, I’m not sure which.
Anyway, 16-year-old Silver Morgan (Van Doren, a clear decade older than her character) comes under suspicion after a guy mysteriously falls off a cliff. Her lipstick is found in his car, but there’s insufficient evidence for an arrest. The victim’s father is influential, meaning an agreement is struck to send Silver to Girls’ Town, a low-security facility run by nuns under Mother Veronica (Hayes). Meanwhile, on the outside, bad boy Fred Alger (Tormé) has realized the blonde babe involved in the death was actually Silver’s younger sister Mary Lee, who was trying to escape a lusty beau. Fred blackmails the sibling into hot-rod racing, and it’s up to Silver and Jimmy Parlow (Anka) to rescue Mary Lee, and stop her from being trafficked to Tijuana as a “hostess.”
This was the subject of an MST3K episode: while I can see why, it’s certainly not terrible, in the way some of their other subjects. It is incredibly dated, with Silver in particular speaking in an argot which often seems to border on an entirely different language. Though I will be working “You’re in Queersville!” into my vocab. It would have been a good deal better had it focused just on Silver, who is an interesting character – not bad, so much as dealt a bad hand, and is understandably suspicious of authority and its figures. Instead, however, there’s an excruciating subplot about her room-mate at Girls’ Town and her unrequited crush on Jimmy. Indeed, removing him and his thoroughly underwhelming songs entirely from the movie would likely have been an improvement.
I will allow the scene (top, cut in some releases) where Van Doren sings in the shower, though for some reason I am unable to comment on her talents. Well, her vocal ones, at least. Otherwise? Hey, it was the fifties, a time where it appears young women had to bring a cattle-prod on any date, in order to fend off unwanted advances. One resident of Girls’ Town knows ju-jitsu, and I imagine that must have come in handy too. The film also offers a slew of next-generation actors. The sons of Robert Mitchum, Charlie Chaplin and Harold Lloyd all have minor roles here, though none came anywhere near to achieving the impact of their fathers. This is similarly forgettable.