Ek Tha Tiger (2012)

Rating: C

Dir:  Kabir Khan
Star: Salman Khan, Katrina Kaif, Ranvir Shorey, Girish Karnad

The YRF Spy Universe gets off to a rather dodgy start, with what’s less an action movie, than a romance interrupted by occasional stunts. It manages just about to skate by, largely on the strength of the stars’ charisma. However, there were definitely points where I wondered if there had been some terrible mistake and I was watching a mockbuster version, made by the Bollywood version of The Asylum. Possibly directed by Hindu Zack Snyder, going by the gratuitous slo-mo. The set-up is reasonable enough: Indian super-spy Avinash Singh Rathore (Khan), codename Tiger, is sent to Dublin to monitor Prof. Kidwai (Roshan Seth, a.k.a. “that guy from Temple of Doom“) and his development of anti-missile technology.

Except, once he arrives, there’s precious little monitoring, or spy work of any kind. Instead, Tiger spends his time making puppy-eyes at the Professor’s housekeeper, Zoya (Kaif). You’d think his long-suffering handler, Gopi (Shorey), or the head of intelligence agency RAW, Ajit Shenoy (Karnad), might point this out, but no… Instead, we get what feels like an hour of goopy, unconvincing rom-com. This reaches its depths with a horrific musical number, apparently entitled “All the Irish stereotypes, begorrah!”, featuring everything from pipers through hurling to those giant leprechaun hats. As a Celt, I’ve never felt so culturally appropriated. The romance is mercifully, if temporarily, derailed when Tiger discovers that Zoya is a Pakistani spy, and supposedly shoots her, in line with protocol. It’s hardly convincing, so barely a spoiler to say: she’s not dead.

They are reunited at a conference in Istanbul, and elope, to the irritation of both their respective employers. That’s perhaps the biggest problem here: the lack of a well-defined adversary. I mean, you can certainly see why Shenoy might be a bit upset, his top agent vanishing with an enemy honey-trap. Eventually, the pair are tracked down in Cuba – and refreshingly, the production genuinely filmed there, rather than using Puerto Rico or wherever as a stand-in. Things pick up several notches thereafter, with a well-staged and extended foot chase through the streets and over the roof-tops of Havana, that give both Khan and Kaif the ability to do more than stare longingly at each other. There’s also stuff involving an aircraft, which I can’t even.

It’s a fortunate recovery, as otherwise I’d be having second thoughts about writing up the Spy Universe. Had this been the first entry I saw, it could have been one and done. Fortunately, I know there’s better to come, leaning more into the action elements. That kept me going through a middle section which was like being force-fed giant marshmallows in content. Khan’s self-effacing approach helped as well, because he’s likeable, rather than coming over as a superman. The title translates as “Once There Was a Tiger,” but only intermittently does it feel like you are watching a dangerous predator. This big cat seemed a bit too fond of belly-rubs and scrunches behind the ears.