Rating: B+
Dire: Peter Thorwarth
Star: Peri Baumeister, Carl Anton Koch, Alexander Scheer, Kais Setti
a.k.a Transatlantic 473
Nadja (Baumeister) has “bad blood”, according to her son Elias (Koch), and it has fallen onto his young shoulders to check both himself and his mother onto a flight to New York in order to pursue a cure for her ailment. Along the way he meets and is befriended by Farid (Setti), travelling on the same flight to attend a conference.
The film has a slow and quietly disturbing start, up until the mid-Atlantic, when the plane is hi-jacked by a decent-sized group of men. These chaps are not the terrorists that they might wish to portray themselves as, even if what they are doing is never entirely clear. It is at this point that things become very dark. This is also the point where the film becomes the story of a widowed mother trying to protect her young son.
This is a taut and lean film that has more than enough plot and sub-plots to be exciting, gripping and compelling. The actors all take their roles very well and the directing is more than good enough for the material. It’s well paced, and manages to ask just enough questions to keep you guessing.
“Where’s my teddy?”
So, I suggest stopping there and, unless you suffer from aerophobia, that you go away now and just watch the film. It’s good, and reading more will spoil the fun. Unless you like spoilers. In which case, well, read on… …and let me post a few tips for any would-be hijackers amongst our readers (you’re welcome):
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Don’t have a violently murderous psychopath as a part of your team. They tend to cause problems and often cause things to turn out badly.
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See the above point as it’s a biggy. Also, be aware that should things go wrong in a pressurised tube at twenty-thousand feet, that matters may end very badly. For everyone.
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Try to avoid having parachuting into the Atlantic ocean as your escape plan. It’s a very bad idea even on a good day, and at night it’s almost certain suicide.
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If you do have a ‘cycle path’ as a part of your team, for the love of all that’s holy, do not allow them to have a gun. This will only make matters worse, and potentially much worse.
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Where-ever possible, try to ensure that you don’t hi-jack a vehicle or vessel with a vampire on board. They can prove tricky to deal with even on a good day, and most particularly if they have been shot.
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Do not allow the psychopath to shoot the vampire. This will really annoy any vampire and no-one, not even the already terrified passengers, wants a pissed-off vampire running amok on a plane, mid-Atlantic. Trust me. It won’t end well. See point 1.
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Having shot a vampire don’t assume them to be dead as, in almost no cases will they be so.
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If you have shot a vampire, and no matter how sure you are that they are dead, dump the body immediately. This way, when they come round (and they will) they’re miles and miles away, as well as a bit wet, and so it won’t matter how murderously miffed they’ve now become.
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Avoid, when carrying out whatever tasks form a part of your cunning plan, having any member of your hijacking team working on their own. Particularly whenever there is also a miffed and very much ‘not dead’ vampire looking to vent some righteous steam.
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Should you find that said vampire has killed some of your team and taken over the cockpit, give up, use your parachutes and jump immediately. Do not try to recover what is already a lost cause. Take your chances in the north Atlantic. Where you will die. But at least you won’t die being ripped limb from limb whilst screaming a lot.
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If you are upset that a vampire has taken over the cockpit of the plane that you have recently hi-jacked, do not start killing passengers to ‘persuade’ said vampire from the cockpit. This will only make them even more irritated then they already are.
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Should you have started killing passengers, in an effort to ‘dislodge’ a now increasingly angry vampire from the cockpit, do not ever, under any circumstances, threaten to kill a child. Nope. Just don’t. Never. I mean, c’mon, could you really look yourself in the eye the next time you pass a mirror? Not that this last concern will be bothering you for much longer.
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Be aware that threatening the life of a child may induce an incandescent blood-lust and all-consuming righteous rage in any previously (generally) well-behaved vampire. Such an outcome may result in said vampire bursting from the cockpit and ripping you and your hi-jacking team limb-from-limb. This will hurt a lot. Momentarily.
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When any opportunity presents itself, kill the vampire. Do not mess around. Not even if you are a deranged ‘cycle-path’.
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Please take care to not discharge a firearm in the aircraft, as this may cause explosive decompression.
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See point 10. That really was the best time to jump out of the plane.
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Being burned alive in a car in the hold isn’t a plan, so don’t think that locking yourself in said car will save you from a very irritated and highly motivated vampire. See point 13.
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Never hijack a plane with a vampire on board when you have a psychopath on your team, as they may think that becoming a vampire is, in actuality, quite a good idea.
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Seriously. You’ve got a parachute. Just jump out of the damn (and dammed) plane.
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Oh well, don’t say I didn’t warn you that things would turn out badly.
“We’ve got everything under control. Don’t worry.”