Rating: B
Dir: Qiuliang Xiang, Hesheng Xiang
Star: Terence Yin, Ruoyan Xia, Xingchen Wang, Paul Che
a.k.a. Hundred Poisons Rampage
Tip of the hat to Adrian over at Movies and Mania, for pointing me in the direction of this one. I wouldn’t have found it, considering the YouTube title was, and I quote: “【动作惊险】《百毒狂袭》热带雨林里巨蛇吞噬众人，男人竟用船只野钓巨蟒背水一战!” Might have missed that, even if Google Translate tells me it means, “[Thrilling action] ‘Poisonous Attack’ In the tropical rain forest, a giant snake devours everyone, and a man actually uses a boat to catch the giant python in a desperate fight!” No IMDb entry, the opening and end credits are removed, and I only know the Chinese language title because the thumbnail on the video is a heavily cropped copy of the original poster.
I’m going with the “official” English language one, despite likely (and probably deliberate) confusion with the Jon Voight/Jennifer Lopez movie, one of the OGs of the snake attack genre. Though the Chinese name here is inaccurate, because as any herpetologist would tell you, the anacondas at the centre here aren’t poisonous, constricting their prey to death. And, boy, do they constrict. In contrast to most When Chinese Animal Attack movies, the deaths here are not quick. They’re considerably more crunchy, involving coiling, squeezing, being eaten (there’s one glorious shot of a snake slithering away, with an obviously human-shaped lump visible through its skin) and – another parallel to Anaconda – occasional regurgitation. It’s probably the most brutal WCAA film I’ve seen.
The tone is set right from the start, where Jeff (Yin) kills then decapitates his jungle guide for trying to renegotiate terms. He is obsessed with capturing the Crimson Anaconda (which I informed Chris, will be how I refer to my penis in future. That whirring sound you hear are her eyes rolling), in a way which has echoes of Moby Dick, crossed with Aguirre. But round one goes to the snake, leaving Jeff stranded deep in the wilderness. Meanwhile, a motley band of circus performers are on their way up-river to a gig of dubious provenance. They end up encountering Jeff, but losing their boat, meaning his vessel – two days’ hike away through the jungle – is the only way out. But can they trust him?
You won’t be hard-pushed to figure out the answer to that question. But we’re not here for intrigue. What we are here for, are some surprisingly good effects. Outside of a couple of ropey shots, most of this is convincing, helped by the use of genuine (albeit normal-sized) snakes. For example, when they blow up a river obstruction, the resulting reptile rain is largely real. The Crimson Anaconda, while large, is not ridiculously so, and although the characters are quickly sketched, each has enough quirks to make you care as they slowly get the life crushed out of them. Well, at least care somewhat, and that’s better than most WCAA films. It also lacks dumb “missing father” plots, being almost straight jungle survival. It all combines to make this one of the best I’ve seen so far.
This review is part of our feature, When Chinese Animals Attack.