Rating: C
Dir: Catherine Hardwicke
Star: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Billy Burke, Cam Gigandet
While certainly containing much that is easily mockable – most of it centered on Pattinson’s angst-ridden performance as emovamp Edward Cullen – this wasn’t as awful as I feared. Sure, its soundtrack often resembles a MySpace playlist, and the undercranked footage of the vampires whizzing around is patently laughable. But, in many ways, it is perhaps the recent vampire film which is truest to Bram Stoker’s original, both being equally as much about extremely repressed sex as anything. Bella (Stewart) moves from Phoenix to the Pacific Northwest to live with her father (Burke), and is immediately attracted to brooding classmate Edward. He tries to deny the apparent connection between them, but it is too strong. Just as he gives in, and she is becoming part of the family, a nomadic band of vampires including the psychotic James (Gigandet) show up, who regards Bella as more of a snack than a companion with whom to spend eternity.
Stewart is credible enough in the role, and it’s easy to see the series’ appeal to love-lorn teenagers of any age. It does suffer from obviously being the first film – Team Jacob is introduced, then spends the rest of the time delivering Meaningful Glances from the bench – but even this cynical hack found some moments which made me go, “Cool!” While it deserves a cynical critique, I liked the way the roles were reversed, with the vampire having to try and restrain himself from the predatory teenage girl. That said, Pattinson is from the Elijah Wood school of acting i.e. with the emphasis on “wood”, and a perpetual expression of teen angst, even as he moves well into his second century. I’m already sick of his fucking eyebrows.