Rush Hour 2 (2001)

Rating: D-

Dir: Brett Ratner
Star: Jackie Chan, Chris Tucker, Zhang Zi-Yi, John Lone

Scary thoughts: a) the talentless Ratner is now helming a remake of Manhunter, b) this grossed $165m in only 17 days, which means c) Rush Hour 3 is a certainty. Happy to report, however, I did not contribute one cent towards this, having acquired this through, er, non-official sources, Cap’n! And quite deliberately too, for this was always a candidate for most cynical movie of the year; it certainly delivers there, barely bothering to look for an excuse to team Chan and Tucker again, the profits from its predecessor being sufficient justification in themselves. The result is horrible in every conceivable way and about as amusing as unanaesthetised dental work,

Tucker is right back to his uber-annoying Fifth Element persona – and this is the hero – crude, boorish, ignorant, and cracking charmless jokes about the Chinese eating dogs. How side-splitting. We can excuse Zhang Ziyi’s wasted presence, as she doesn’t know any better, while both Chan and Lone have the decency to look at least slightly embarrassed. The attempts at humour all fall flat, the plot is missing presumed dead (did someone actually get paid for this screenplay?), and the only bright spots are when Chan is briefly left alone to his physical wizardry. Will this summer never end?