Rating: C-
Dir: Marc Lawrence
Star: Anna Kendrick, Shirley MacLaine, Bill Hader, Kingsley Ben-Adir
To be clear, this is the kind of “family friendly” content I’d rarely watch, and even less often review here. It was the first original movie on Disney+, albeit because the original theatrical release was scrapped. This is probably for the best, because it is very much the sort of undemanding entertainment, for which the term “straight to streaming” was designed. So why am I writing about it? Because it’s probably the only Christmas movie set mainly in “Phoenix” [I’ll get to the quotes later]. I mean, we’re the warmest big city in the world. Snow and reindeer are not on the agenda, and any fat man wearing a fur-trimmed coat is basically asking for a case of heat exhaustion.
This starts at the North Pole, albeit a questionably arboreal version thereof, where the Kringle family have been Santa Claus for more than twenty generations. The next incumbent is supposed to be Nick (Hader). However, he’s not exactly enthused about the prospect, and largely sucks at important jobs like landing sleighs on rooftops. He disappears not long before Christmas, and it’s up to his sister, Noelle (Kendrick) to track him down, with the help of elf Polly (MacLaine). Turns out he has become a snowbird, and joined the winter exodus from colder climates to Phoenix. She hires local private eye Jake Hapman (Ben-Adir) to try and find Nick, but maybe the real “twinkle” was inside Noelle all along.
Firstly, to address the saguaro in the room. The great bulk of the “Phoenix” scenes were shot elsewhere. For instance, Noelle supposedly lands her reindeer at Desert Ridge Marketplace in North Phoenix. It isn’t, being The Outlet Shoppes in Woodstock, Georgia. There is stock or second-unit footage showing downtown Phoenix, a shot of the Desert Ridge sign, and a road near the Botanical Gardens. But, despite frequent mentions of Phoenix and even a Chase Field reference, it quickly becomes clear that Kendrick, Hader, etc. did not spend any time in Arizona. Negative points are also assessed for blatant product and store placement, in particular for Apple. Someone should tell the writer, kids are allowed to want something apart from an iPad as a Christmas present.
The results are all thoroughly predictable and just about amusing, held together with sticky tape and Kendrick’s charm. Elf did the “Christmas fish out of water” thing better, and it’s painfully obvious Noelle will end up replacing Nick as Santa, striking a blow against the patriarchy in the process. This gender-swap stuff is as useless as ever. Why not start a new present delivery tradition, instead of riding on the coattails of the male one? It’s the same way, Atomic Blonde = wired, female James Bond = tired. But it’s par for the course in both message and entertainment value. Christmas movies tend, with odd exceptions, to be bland, unchallenging efforts. Disney+ is the poster child for bland and unchallenging. No surprise how a Christmas movie on Disney+ ends up looking.