Rating: B-
Dir: J.J. Perry
Star: Dave Bautista, Sofia Boutella, Ben Kingsley, Scott Adkins
This tanked, and tanked hard in cinemas: having now seen it, I’m mostly surprised it got a release there to begin with. Just about everything here screams “straight to video” – though I actually mean that as a compliment. This doesn’t demand a theatrical level of attention. It’s the kind of film best enjoyed while sprawled on the sofa, consuming junk food and occasionally surfing on your phone to check who that is you just spotted [to save you the bother there: Alex Kingston, a.k.a. River Song, and Dylan Moran, a.k.a. David from Shaun of the Dead]. In such an environment, I’m here to tell you it’s perfectly fine, empty entertainment. Things go boom and cheesy one-liners.
It does take a bit of time to get going. Things are initially bogged down in an unconvincing romance between honourable hitman Joe Flood (Bautista) and ballet dancer Maize Arnaud (Boutella), despite Perry nicely cross-editing between his work and their relationship e.g. him putting a necklace on her cuts to Joe garrotting a target. He gets diagnosed with mad cow disease, and rather than die slowly, puts out a $2 million contract on himself. Only, the diagnosis was a clerical error, and the contract can’t be cancelled, due to the agent (Pom Klementieff) having a grudge against Joe for killing her father. Cue a stream of quirky and eccentric assassins from all over the world, keen to collect the bounty on his head.
That’s where the fun really begins, with Joe having to fend off their attacks, mostly while holed up in a well booby-trapped castle. One example of the opponents he has to face: Scottish hitmen the MacKenzie brothers played by Adkins and WWE’s Drew McIntyre in amusingly sweary fashion, which the necessary subtitles very much play down. While Adkins needs to work on his Scottish accent (his American one is better), I’d have happily watched a whole movie about the MacKenzies. The same goes for the Korean gang, whom we first meet karaokeing D’you Really Want to Hurt Me? Or the pair of stripper hitwomen. Or the Spanish guy (Marko Zaror from Mandrill), who brings his own soundtrack with him. It’s a parade of B-movie goodness and B-movie stars.
Perry is another stuntman turned director, who recently gave us Day Shift. As you would expect, this means most of the action is on point, though the obvious use of CGI gore was disappointing. The performances are more mixed. Save one scene, Bautista typically demonstrates the emotional range of a hedgerow. Except, just watch his face when he gets his terminal diagnosis: Perry lets the camera linger on the actor, and it’s genuinely effective. This is very much the exception, however – probably why it stands out. Mostly we are here for crunchy violence, which is delivered in adequate levels. I doubt I’ll remember much of it, and may never see it again. For an hour and three-quarters though, I was kept amused. Job done, I’d say.
This review is part of Project Adkins, covering the movies of Scott Adkins.