Rating: C+
Dir: Matthew A. Peters
Star: Stephanie Ward, Michael John Gilbert, Berndele March, Olga N. Bogdanova
This is the kind of title which will likely provoke a roll of the eyes. The first few minutes do little to dispel such feelings, with irritating “teenagers”, who look as if they may be nearer to retirement than high-school, breaking into a cemetery for some sexy shenanigans. Barely has the first top come off, when the creature promised by the title shows up, and… To my surprise, all I can say is, “Well done.” I was expecting something supremely shitty, because land sharks are notoriously difficult to pull off: hello, Jaws of the Shark. However, this is an impressive effort, part-hammerhead, part-bodybuilder, and possessing a large mouthful of nasty-looking teeth it uses enthusiastically.
So, hey: this might not suck! With the “teenagers” disposed of, we switch to our heroes: cryptozoologists Abby (Ward) and Greg (Gilbert), who are finding there isn’t as much money in their chosen field as hoped. A life-line arrives, in the shape of Dr. Lovnik (Bogdanova), who hires them to investigating goings-on at Willsboro Point, and the creature rumoured to be inhabiting the local cemetery. Abby and Greg are all over that, getting eye-witness reports from the support group Dr. Lovnik runs – slogan, “I am not prey, I am a survivor and I will not be eaten” – then checking out the graveyard. But it’s not until they encounter Captain Seyburn (March), who reveals the terrible truth about the creature’s origins, that they can fight it effectively.
This does a number of things right, even beyond the shark costume. The effects in general are practical, with a lot of red stuff getting sprayed around, and Abby makes for a likeable heroine, often voicing the thoughts the viewer is having in regard to the scenario as it unfolds. However, it does feel a good 15-20 minutes too long, and some judicious editing in the second half would have paid dividends. Certain scenes feel as if they go on forever, or could have been excised entirely. Indeed, the entire character of Greg comes perilously close to falling into the latter category before saving things at the very end, in a way I truly did not see coming. And speaking of coming…
Yeah, it’s all a bit fetishy. The monster originates after an extended spot of mermaid fucking, and there’s a later scene where one of the support groups seems to give the shark a blow-job. But those both probably pale beside the sequence which features sasquatch fisting. Those are two words I did not expect to be writing today, least of all next to each other. I’m not sure for what audience these aspects are intended: it’s certainly not me, and comes off a bit weird. As a result, in the end, it’s a superior movie to Jaws of the Shark, yet doesn’t deliver quite as much entertainment value. Consider my expectations surpassed though, and I’m not averse to checking out other Mad Angel films.