Rating: D+
Dir: Guillermo del Toro
Star: Oscar Isaac, Jacob Elordi, Mia Goth, Christoph Waltz
I’m not as big a fan of del Toro as many people. It feels like he has been flogging the “monster are the real heroes; humans are the real monsters” thing to death, in a way at which even Tim Burton might look askance. I’ve found it increasingly monotonous: I think he jumped the shark with his fish-fucking film. This is basically two and a half hours of the same drum being beaten, and I certainly didn’t feel the time flew past. It’s not subtle about it either. You actually get someone explicitly telling Victor Frankenstein (Isaac), “You’re the monster!” at one point. I may have rolled my eyes there, and it wasn’t the only moment.
By all accounts, it does appear to be a faithful adaptation of Mary Shelley’s novel. I say that, since it has been a very long while since I read it. If so, then it appears the book was a way for her to deal with abandonment issues or something. I actually found the wrap-around section – not taken from the book – the most effective. In it, the crew of a Danish ship trapped in the Arctic ice, encounter first a badly-wounded Frankenstein and then his creation, who is distinctly not happy, and unstoppable at a level Jason Voorhees would appreciate. However, just when this was getting going, Frankenstein relates his entire life story to the ship’s captain. It’s 130-minute flashback time, folks!
Blah blah, dead mother, blah, abusive father, because monstrous people make monsters. Get it? I said: GET IT? He then hooks up with Elizabeth (Goth), the daughter of an investor in his research. I was hoping we’d continue the “Just say no to Mia Goth” trend, with Elizabeth killing Victor and taking over his research, for her own depraved ends. Sadly, she gets to do not much beyond sitting around in some lovely dresses. I will say, the film does look very nice, though it seems to include an excessive amount of CGI, including things which feel as if they would be easy enough to do practically. There are points where it looks perilously close to an AI creation.
Anyway, eventually – and it takes its time – we get the creature (Elordi), and hear his side of the story. This includes abuse, loneliness, and an encounter with a blind man, which I still am unable to take seriously. Thanks, Young Frankenstein. It’s all quite predictable, and there’s no subtlety here. What worked about Peter Cushing’s portrayal of Frankenstein was, you could see his side, and why he did what he did. Here, Victor skews too far towards malice, at an almost mustache-twirling level. Conversely, the monster (or are we not using the M-word these days?) is so saintly, I’m almost surprised he doesn’t get nailed to a cross at any point. $120 million spent, on what’s just another Netflix Original I’m going to have forgotten about, this time next week.