Rating: C+
Dir: Uwe Boll
Star: Gino Anthony Pesi, Kristen Renton, James McMenamin, Tia Dionne Hodge
Well, this was a surprise. Boll had announced his retirement from film-making in October 2016. After that, seems like he opened a pretty successful dining establishment in Vancouver, and it felt like the cinema world’s loss was the restaurant world’s gain. But I guess movie directors are like pro wrestlers: they never really retire. It appears that, after COVID put something of a spoke in the wheel of his new business, Boll started working on movies again, and this is the first to be released (there’s another one, Run, about refugees, currently in post-production). While I’m sure the usual suspects will deride this as the worst ever, truth is, it’s a serviceable buddy cop movie.
It does lean heavily into the tropes of that genre. Deo (Pesi) is a gruff New York detective, who is given a new partner by his boss, Lieutenant Walden (Hodge). Naturally, the new workmate, Angela (Renton), is the complete opposite of Deo in every way: bubbly while he is sullen; optimistic while he is cynical; she even has a TikTok channel. Cue much rolling of eyes by Deo. This follows the pair on their first day, cruising the streets of the Big Apple and – inevitably – gradually coming to respect each other and their point of view. To this end, it operates in some ways like the pilot for an ongoing series rather than a standalone movie: the script feels like it’s more concerned with characters and setting than plot.
Consequently, there are various threads which intersect, though I’d be hard-pushed to call many of them significant. Early on, we’re told Deo has been moved back to homicide, but really does not do much homicide detecting to speak of. He shows up at the scene of precisely one (1), only to leave after about two minutes, and it subsequently solves itself. He’s more concerned with taking care of a dog belonging to an old guy who collapsed in the supermarket. There’s another thread about a man having a breakdown in his bathroom, whose connection to Deo and Angela only becomes apparent at the end. So I stress: I’ve seen more intricate stories on an episode of Dixon of Dock Green. Adjust all expectations accordingly.
On the other hand, I did enjoy just riding around with the detectives. Once Angela gets past Deo’s taciturn facade, their banter feels genuine, to the point I’d not be surprised if it was improvised by the actors. I can’t imagine Boll writing a detailed exchange debating the precise sexual definition of a cream pie, for example. Some of Deo’s rants are epic: “The politicians and the media are doing everything they can to divide the people. Hypocrisy and entitlement are like fuckin’ epidemics.” I couldn’t help nodding in agreement. The characters are interesting enough, which largely negates the slight story-line, and consequently, I was never bored by the end result. Welcome back, Mr. Boll. Just stay away from adapting video-games, and I think we’ll be fine.