Rating: B
Dir: Gerald Thomas
Star: Sidney James, Kenneth Williams, Joan Sims, Charles Hawtrey
I had to think for a moment, initially thinking the one about Henry VIII was actually Carry On Don’t Lose Your Head. I guess it could have been, focusing as this does on the Tudor king’s attempts to escape his current marriage by any means necessary. Henry the Eighth is, of course, played by James in one of his most iconic roles. He has just offed one wife, in order to unite with Marie of France (Sims), only to find himself unable to consummate the marriage, due to her fondness for garlic. Conniving advisor Thomas Cromwell (Williams) seeks to find a way out, but a loophole presents itself after Marie becomes pregnant through lecherous equerry, Sir Roger de Lodgerley (Hawtrey in a rare hetero role).
The plotting here is considerably tighter than most of the series, with an actual, significant story-line involving Marie’s French relations threatening to invade if the marriage can’t be proven a happy one to their satisfaction. The resulting situation proves remarkably fluid, causing Cromwell to torture Sir Roger to confess his infidelity, retract his confession, retract his retraction, etc. By the end, courtesy of the rack and iron maiden, he could find employment as a sprinkler system. Meanwhile, Henry’s eye continues to roam, settling on the charmingly naive Bettina of Bristol (Barbara Windsor), who gets brought in to act as Marie’s lady-in-waiting. Specifically, waiting until Marie is no longer in the marital picture.
I do want to go on the record and say I’m not sure about the historical accuracy for much of this. Never mind the additional wives, it lobs Cromwell, Fawkes, guillotines, bananas and cups of tea into the sixteenth century mix, demonstrating a frankly shoddy lack of research. Fortunately, it’s damn funny, with some of the sharpest dialogue you can imagine. Henry asks Cromwell about Marie, “Has she been chaste?” to which the advisor responds, “Yes, all over Normandy.” There’s any number of similar exchanges, which still prove capable of making me laugh out loud. I think the advantage of the historical Carry Ons like this one, is they operate without any contemporary elements which would inevitably date them. In some ways, this could almost be a Shakespearean comedy, operating on wordplay and bawdiness.
The production values are very good, helped out by some genuinely historic-looking locations, along with costumes that, again, stand out more than those of a contemporary production would. Sims also impresses, and it’s nice that it’s merely her fondness for garlic which is the deal-breaker for King Henry. Marie is depicted as perhaps the smartest character on screen, though it’s interesting to consider what the film would have been like, had Harry Secombe played the part of the English monarch, as was originally considered. We may have dodged a bullet there. When you think of all the roles Sid James had in the franchise, this is likely one of those which would come first to mind.