Rating: C+
Dir: Matt Bettinelli-Olpin, Tyler Gillett
Star: Melissa Barrera, Dan Stevens, Alisha Weir, Kathryn Newton
This is nominally a remake of, and was originally titled Dracula’s Daughter – if so, it may set a record for the most microscopic levels of “nominally”. That any connection is in name only, becomes absolutely clear when we see how the vampires here react to sunlight. Or stakes. It’s… messy, and probably has far more in common with Blade. Certainly, the human characters here could have used the help of Wesley Snipes, because these “motherfuckers are always trying to ice skate uphill.” They are a group who are hired to kidnap Abigail (Weir), the 12-year-old daughter of an extremely rich businessman. Only they find nothing is what it seems – in particular, the victim is an ageless vampire, and not happy about her abduction.
The group are led by former cop Frank (Stevens), and include medic Joey (Barnes), hacker Sammy (Newton), etc. They don’t trust each other, and that negatively impacts their ability to deal with the situation, as does an understandable reluctance to accept what they’re dealing with. However, these characters are probably the film’s weakest element: they’re not very likeable, being little more than tropes from this kind of movie, e.g. big dumb guy, kooky hacker, psycho, heart of gold. Joey is clearly intended to be both the one we sympathize with, and the obvious final girl, but it all feels lazy. Hearing she was a single mother made me roll my eyes rather than relate to her.
It’s considerably more fun when abandoning any efforts in this area, and simply concentrating on pitting them against Abigail. Weir nails the jaded, casual brutality of a centuries-old pre-teen, although her fondness for a tutu and ballet seems a bit odd. She can flick a switch and go from sobbing child to Tasmanian Devil in the blink of an eye, “playing with her food”, who are unable to leave the house. As an aside, the location used – Glenmaroon House in Dublin, the former home of Arthur Guinness – is stunning, and just the kind of place in which I imagine a vampire would hang out. Relatively cheap by Hollywood standards at $28 million, the movie makes for decent value, and an amiable, if only occasionally memorable time-passer.
The problem is vampire films continue to be box-office poison. The Last Voyage of the Demeter, and Renfield also failed to turn a profit, which does not augur well for the upcoming remake of Nosferatu, or even the Blade reboot. This is to be commended for at least trying to do something different, though obviously, Interview With the Vampire got their pre-pubescent vampire in, thirty years previously. I do wonder if it might have worked better, had the reveal of Abigail’s true nature not been spoilered by all its advertising. It’s just one in a number of ways in which this could potentially have been improved, making it an entertaining B-movie, yet leaving me annoyed it didn’t end up being more than that.