Rating: B-
Dir: Lam Ching-Ying
Star: Lam Ching-Ying, Siu-Ho Chin, Fong Lui, Maria Cordero
This was the first film directed by veteran actor Lam, best-known as the star of the the Mr. Vampire series. Although technically outside the franchise, it’s very much cut from the same cloth. He plays One-Eyebrow Priest – no, really, that’s the credit listed on IMDb – who provides spiritual guidance to the country locals, with the loose “help” of acolytes Hoh (Chin) and Fong (Lui). He’s asked to find a spot where a new well should be dug, but a flock of bats moves the marker. This causes the grave of a vampire to be dug up and when someone bleeds on it… Oh, figure it out yourself. The twist? The resurrected vampire is old-school European, down to the cape, rather than hopping and white-faced.
The title is a little bit misleading. The movie does contain another vampire, of the traditional Chinese variety. But it’s a little kid, communicating in squeaks and far more adorable than threatening. He is only tangentially involved in Priest’s battle with the EuroVamp (played by Frank Juhas), though his timely delivery of a bunch of dynamite is significant. More relevant is a local convent, whose nuns, under their Mother Superior (Cordero), come under attack from a flock of the vampire’s bat allies. This siege is genuinely well-assembled, using a mix of real creatures and Hoverbats™, though is not one animal lovers will appreciate. The action involving Priest is also as good as anything in the Mr. Vampire franchise. Choreographed by Stephen Tung, there’s a real physical presence to it, and it’s imaginative, with Lam leading from the front.
Less successful, to the point of painfully grating, is a local General (Billy Lau), whose comic mugging is a waste of time. Especially in the first half, he brings the film to a grinding halt. Also present is his cousin (frequent Stephen Chow collaborator Sandra Ng), though their relationship is weirdly close to romantic. She does at least serve some purpose down the stretch, being turned by the vampire into his disciple (top). This is an angle rarely seen in Eastern films, where the jiangshi is typically male: women get to be ghostly spirits – there’s an example of that here as well. However, it feels like Lam had a vampire bride because he was told it was required by Western mythology, and it’s never adequately developed or resolved.
The core, and what truly works, is Priest having to come to terms with his Taoist magic being useless against this adversary. So he just ends up beating the hell out of his enemy. Stakes. They’re vastly overrated. While it’s obviously not the first movie to relocate the traditional vampire to the Far East, I felt this worked better than The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires. It seems a more organic merger, rather than the two cultures being awkwardly forced to share a taxi. The attempts at humour do largely fall flat, to the point I couldn’t bring myself to tag this in the comedy genre. There’s still plenty to enjoy, and I was left wondering why Lam only directed one other feature (weirdly, an adaptation of The Green Hornet, well before the Seth Rogen flop)
[Original review] Lam Ching-Ying’s Taoist priest is, for me, as much an icon of Hong Kong cinema as Chow Yun-Fat or Jackie Chan. He can make the most ridiculous concepts viable – and boy, does he have his work cut out here. The main enemy here is a European-style vampire, found in a locked room at a Catholic church, and eventually resurrected by her former lover, dug up in the search for a new well. There’s also a female demon who lives in palm trees, a hopping kid vampire, Feng Shui, killer bats, a blob-monster, the ghost of a murdered prostitute and far too much “Whoops! I’ve lost my trousers!” humour. The film is 83 minutes long. Don’t blink.
Effectively an unofficial entry in the Mr. Vampire series, this is the kind of film that reminds me why I got into HK flicks. It’s berserkly imaginative, relentless, stupid, with extremely lame optical effects, and subtitles which leave much to be desired. The DVD sleeve synopsis will give you some idea of what to expect: “The Chinese exorcist is One-Eyebrow Priest. He leads a peaceful life in hermitage with his two bungling students and the mini-vampire. One day a ghost ship comes to the village and the priest is asked to catch the ghosts. He meets Sister Maria and her beautiful assistants. Life is no longer peaceful. The water becomes polluted. The priest discovers the pollutant to be a European vampire who is aided by a dead countess. The priest’s Chinese exorcism fails miserably…”
Actually, a ghost ship is about the only thing not found in the movie, but if your mouth is salivating at the general concept of the above, the film lives up to it. If, on the other hand, you’re going “Eh?”, best leave VvV alone, as viewing it should only be attempted by highly trained professionals, under strictly controlled conditions. The killer bat attack sequence is, however, quite cool on any terms, although the only way to explain their remarkable ability to chew through doors, is as the work of a mad scientist who spliced some woodpecker DNA int… Er, I guess that particular subplot was left on the cutting-room floor. B