Rating: D
Dir: Brinke Stevens
Star: Glory Rodriguez, Jessie Gill, Luka Parente, Kelli Maroney
If it took me 35 years to watch the original, it took Full Moon almost as long to make a sequel. This was part of the “Deadly Ten”, an intended package of features intended to resurrect some of the studio’s best-loved franchises. The series kinda petered out, and I wonder if the problems with this production were a factor in that. Linnea Quigley declined to return, so her intended character was rewritten into her sister, Snake (Maroney), who is now a sorority “house mother”. Intended director, the returning David DeCoteau, then left the movie, apparently due to “creative differences”. Stevens ended up taking over, for her directorial debut, and…. Well, it’s not her fault. Orson Welles probably couldn’t have salvaged this.
Problem 1: it’s less a sequel than a remake – and one which is not as good in almost every way. Once more, it’s two sorority initiates plus three horn-dogs, going to the bowling alley to liberate a trophy. Once more, there’s a punky girl, Bitsy (Rodriguez). Once more, the imp grants wishes, and twists the requests in malevolent ways. Problem 2: the imp doesn’t show up until about 20 minutes before the end credits. Problem3: the characters here are utterly bland and uninteresting. It’s only when Stevens and Michelle Bauer show up, as ghosts of their characters from the first movie, that you realize just how devoid of charisma are their replacements. Problem 4: the feeble nudity – especially in the Tubi version, which seems edited – is another spit in the face of its predecessor, which proudly owned its sexuality.
The original was a mix of sexy comedy-horror, albeit not particularly funny or scary. But it looks like peak Mel Brooks crossed with Martyrs in comparison to this, which simply doesn’t appear to contain any actual jokes, or even amusing situations. Unless you consider someone crapping out cash – because he asked for “a shitload of money” – to be the peak of comedic gold. I will say, the puppetry for the imp is probably a notch or two improved, and Derek Jeremiah Reid gives it his best efforts as the voice. To get to that point, you have to wade through far too much dreck, with Maroney the only person who can deliver a line half-convincingly.
It’s all just painfully lazy, especially on the part of writer Kent Roudebush. He seems to be operating on the mistaken belief that no viewer will have seen part one, and shamelessly copy-pasting the entire plot will be just fine. There are nods back to the original, except half of these don’t make logical sense e.g. the ghosts have aged 35 years. Yes, I just used the words logical and sense, in regard to a film titled “Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama 2”. I’d better wrap this up before my literary license gets revoked. But if it’s another three decades before there’s a part 3, that’s OK by me. With any luck, I’ll be dead by then, and thus spared the experience.