Eaters (2011)
Rating: B
Dir: Luca Boni, Marco Ristori
Star: Alex Lucchesi, Guglielmo Favilla, Claudio Marmugi, Elisa Ferretti
A disease has been unleashed upon mankind, first cutting the birth rate to zero, wiping out most of the female race, then turning virtually all those who remain into flesh-eating ghouls who roam the devastated world, looking for prey. Survivors are scattered and generally solitary, though some have formed groups like the New Death Militia, a neo-Nazi group which pits wannabes in death matches against zombies to decide if their worthy to join. Compared to them, the trio of Igor (Lucchesi), Alen (Favilla) and Gyno (Marmugi) seem relatively sane. Gyno is a scientist, working to try and find a cure; Igor and Alen are tasked with venturing out into the hostile world beyond the compound, to bring back some live [ok, make that “shambling”] specimens on which Gyno can experiment. However, once they hit the road, they find it might not be the walking dead – or even the neo-Nazis – that are the biggest threat. And what of the ‘Plague Spreader’, the man broadcasting over the radio his claims to have deliberately started the plague?
This is a nice combination: in part, it’s a throwback to the glory days of 80’s Italian zombies, but it is equally, if not more, influenced by the genre’s rebirth over the past few years, and the likes of Zombieland and La Horde. Igor and Alen are kinda like the Bob Hope and Bing Crosby of zombie flicks, hitting the road and exchanging wisecracks, the situation forcing them into unlikely partnership, despite their disparate personalities, which are slowly revealed, with some surprises – not the least a moment which will, I trust, result in George Michael getting a very small payment. The set-up is quick but effective, and the story which unfolds has some interesting twists and turns. There are some aspects which don’t go anywhere, such as the strange artist – referred to as Caravaggio in the dialogue, but Warhol in the subs! – with whom our duo trade for beer and food. And, while the special effects are solid, I’d have preferred a little more splatter with my kills. However, it’s not exactly PG-13 rated, and is still likely the best zombie flick to come out of Italy since Cemetery Man.
The Man Who Collected Food (2010)
Rating: B-
Dir: Matthew Roth
Star: Mike N. Kelly, Gary Wagner, Lila Miller, Russell Fox
Miguel Appet (Kelly) does exactly what the title suggests. His house is filled with various styles, models and varieties of food – the highlight of his week is his trip to the supermarket [or ‘food convention’ as he calls it], to stock up on the new arrivals. And woe betide the employee who has to explain to Miguel why they don’t have the exact product, down to the color of the packaging, shown in the advert. The side-effect is that Miguel is so obsessed with his collection, that he daren’t open the packaging to eat anything, as it would no longer be “mint, in original condition.” This poses a nutritional conundrum, which he solves by turning to the source of unpackaged protein readily available in his locale – if you’re not there already, he resorts to cannibalism.
But as the bodies pile up, he also has to deal with his nosey mother (Appet), and neighbours who (aside from the whole “eating people” thing) make Miguel look like model of stability. On one side is the man who things he is being harassed by aliens (Wagner); on the other, a redneck father and son who do nothing except hunt and drink beer. Can Miguel keep his lifestyle, sanity and collection intact? It’s the kind of film for which the word “quirky” was invented, populated by an eccentric collection of characters – the moral seems to be, if you obey society’s rules on the outside, you can commit whatever heinous crimes you want without suspicion. It’s an somewhat odd focus for the center of the film, not least because Miguel isn’t particularly likeable; he’s not pulling a Dexter, and only eating bad guys, and is spikily rude to those who cross his path, as the (somewhat too frequent) voice-overs make clear.
This is clearly a satirical swipe at extreme consumerism rather than based in true reality; Miguel avoids police suspicion after taking out an entire support group, or even going into hospital, killing an orderly and chowing down on a patient who he has heard is “lucky” [of course, that’s part of standard tribal cannibalism – eating the dead to take on their attributes]. Given this, the obvious plot-holes, such as why Miguel doesn’t hunt animals rather than humans, can be forgiven. Tthe fact that he isn’t a serial killer by nature – it’s a seemingly-logical response to a problem caused by his obsession – might make him a unique cinematic creation, as a “psychopath by circumstance”. For that alone, this is worth watching.
Skew (2011)
Rating: B-
Dir: Sevé Schelenz
Star: Robert Scattergood, Amber Lewis, Richard Olak, Taneal Cutting
I usually don’t have a lot of time for the “found footage” genre of horror movies; too often, it comes across as a lazy alternative to scriptwriting and proper camerawork. However, this entry works as a decent counter-argument, proving that, done right, there can be more to the genre. Simon (Scattergood) joins his two friends Rich (Olak) and Eva (Lewis) for a long-awaited road-trip to a friend’s wedding; Simon is obsessed with recording every aspect of his life, and the journey is no exception. The trip gets off to a bad start, as he leaves after an argument with his girlfriend (Cutting), but then things start to turn weird.
Death dogs their footsteps, from the moment they turn a coyote into roadkill, and Simon’s camera appears to start malfunctioning, distorting certain peoples’ faces when seen through the lens – though the distortion is not visible on playback. Worse is to follow, as those people then start turning up dead. As Simon wrestles for an explanation, his relationship with his friends becomes increasingly strained, not least because of his secret crush on Eva, and the chances of them reaching the destination unscathed seem slim indeed. Shot back in 2005, the delay probably hasn’t worked in its favor, with the genre being largely done to death in the meantime. But it’s a good deal more watchable than many entries, with Schelenz wisely restraining the camera work, appreciating you don’t need to wave the camera around to make the point.
Particularly well-done is the way Simon becomes the character at the centre of the movie, despite being all but unseen; there’s even a reason for why he is so obsessed with holding on to the camera [it may or may not hold water, but it’s a damn sight more than Cloverfield bothered to give us]. If there was one word you should use to sum this up, it would be “unsettling”; several shots will have the hair on your neck standing up, and it has one genuine “off your seat” scare. If the scenario now bears more than a slight resemblance to a deceased equine, and the ending poses more questions than it answers, this still is comfortably better than most of its type.
True Nature (2011)
Rating: B-
Dir: Patrick Steele
Star: Marianne Porter, Reg Land, Carolyn McCormick, David Darlow
The Pascals more or less have everything money can buy, thanks to the business success of father Reg (Land). Sure, daughter Marianne (Porter) hates her mother (McCormick), and dreads returing from college to spend time with her parents at home – but that’s true of every girl her age, isn’t it? However, things take a drastic turn for the abnormal, when Marianne vanishes when out for a late-night jog, throwing the family into turmoil. Things get even stranger a year later, when their daughter reappears in their garden, emaciated, near-dead and covered in dirt.
Marianne can’t remember a thing about what happened, or where she has been for the past year – at least, initially. Instead, she is plagued by terrible nightmares, which could be her subconscious trying to reveal the truth about her missing months. But what will happen to the family, if she does recover her memories? About half-way through, Chris turned to me and said, “We’ll see this playing on Lifetime one day.” Turns out that was a premature judgment, although I can see where she was coming from; particularly in the early stages, this does play like one of their “Crime of the Week” flicks, with a somewhat famous actress (McCormick is best known for her Law & Order role) overseeing the resulting family angst.
But from the moment Marianne returns, things take a sharp left-turn towards the darker side. It centres on the performances of Porter and Land: the former trying to cope with the gap in her life, the latter coming to terms with the realization of what happened, and his role in it. Fortunately, those are both strong efforts, and by the time you work out exactly what’s going on – for instance, how the opening car-park assassination ties in to events – this is much darker and more twisted than any TV movie, and is an effective little chiller, which deserves not be written off as easily as might initially appear.