Rating: D
Dir: John Korty
Star: Kim Darby, William Shatner, Diane Varsi, Dan O’Herlihy
What was Francis Ford Coppola doing in 1972? If you answered, making one of the greatest films in America cinema history, of course you’d not be wrong. But, wait! There’s more! For he was also acting as executive producer on this TV movie for Korty, who had been something of a mentor for both Coppola and George Lucas in their early days. Frankly, though, Francis shouldn’t have bothered. There’s precious little here of interest, unless you are deeply into hippie SF of the wettest type. Even saying that perhaps counts as a spoiler. However, I’m not inclined to be bothered, because the statute of limitations has expired on a 50-year-old TV movie. It’s also not very good. So: spoilers follow.
Melodye Amerson (Darby) is a teacher, running away from stuff in her life, who has accepted a position in a remote rural school. The way she spells her first name perhaps indicates the New Agey approach here, and irritated the hell out of me. It’s not long before she realizes she isn’t the biggest weirdo in town. The residents are strange, in an obscure religious sect kind of way: Mennonites or their ilk. The kids she teaches are strictly regulated, unwilling to play music, take part in games, or even sing Old MacDonald. Their parents aren’t exactly fun-loving criminals either, under patriarch Sol (O’Herlihy). The only other “normie” is local physician Dr. Curtis (Shatner). He is perplexed by the locals’ remarkable constitutions, which are oddly disease-resistant.
Yeah, if the presence of Shatner wasn’t a clue. It’s aliens, hiding among us because their home planet lost the ability to support life, so they bailed and ended up landing on Earth. They’re sorta trying to fit in; just not going a very good job of it. Melodye is able to pry open one of the town kids, by giving him a harmonica and quoting Thoreau at him, behaviour which I would say borders on child abuse. Eventually, a class exercise on “Draw what you remember of your home” leads to the teacher discovering the truth and… Well, that’s about it. You spend fifty minutes waiting for Melodye to realize what has been increasingly obvious to viewers, then another twenty-five waiting for the end credits.
It might have helped had there been a sense of suspense here, resulting from any real threat to Melodye. But weird alien Amish aren’t exactly dangerous, posing no danger to her, even as she does her best to warp the minds of their offspring with her Earth opinions. And the harmonica. The film seems to suggest that we, as a species, are considerably more of a threat to these peaceful extraterrestrials, who feel each other’s pain and just want to be left alone. Yeah, suuuuuuure… That’s always how it starts. Then one day, you wake up and it’s all, “I, for one, welcome our new alien overlords.” Never trust an alien. Especially one wearing a wide-brimmed hat.