Rating: C+
Dir: Sun Yu
Star: Chen Wai, Cheng Zhi Wei
What this film shows is, it’s probably better to have imagination than a budget. The aspiration here is clear from the very start, where a flash-forward crams in some truly mega-sized shark action, basically gulping down a freighter whole, before taking out an innocent bridge. If the CGI effects used had been anything up to the task, this could well have been an all-time classic. They’re not, but the overall impact is like watching your six-year-old grandchild showing you his breakdancing moves, inspired by fifteen minutes watching Raygun at the Olympics: the results may kinda suck, but the attempt is adorable in itself. I wanted to pat this movie on its head and give it a chocolate-chip cookie.
The excessively large shark here is not, technically, the prehistoric creature. It’s the product of unauthorized genetic tampering carried out at the D-TECH Marine Research Center. Though at least it’s with good intentions, deputy head Mo Lei having spliced in DNA from lungfish and insects, with the goal of solving world hunger. His boss, Yuan Cong (Chen), orders the project shut down, but before that can happen, one of the subjects slides down a drain and… Well, I’m sure you can figure out the rest. It’s up to Yuan and Marine Affairs Administration agent Jia-Em (Cheng) to find and implement a solution. And quickly, for the military, in the shape of spiffily uniformed Ma Di, are ready to adopt their usual approach: blowing shit up.
I’d like to have seen that, not least because Dr Yuan said “Deep-sea bombs could likely cause earthquakes and tsunamis.” Yes, but as an aficionado of disaster porn, is there a down side? Also, while the researchers are faffing around trying to come with an alternative Plan B, Ma unleashes Plan A: a shark-shaped submarine capable of chomping through the mutants, and also of firing torpedoes from its mouth. Again, it feels like something my six-year-old grandchild would create, while on a sugar high from one too many bowls of Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs. It works, only until Mommy Megalodon shows up. Because there’s always someone bigger and nastier than you in the ocean. As we will see…
Inspired by Jia-Em rescuing her estranged father – what is a Chinese Animals Attack film, without family drama? – Yuan comes up with a plan. This involves electrolyzing the ocean, to create bubbles which will lure the sharks to the surface, where they can be ruthlessly gunned down from attack helicopters. After a heartfelt speech to convince locals to switch off their large-screen TVs to provide the necessary power, this works… Yeah, only until Mommy Megalodon shows up. However, at this point, the guardian deity of the ocean then appears, which it does “whenever the marine ecosystem is harmed.” Yeah, they basically Godzilla a resolution here, courtesy of a giant cephalopod which someone on YouTube nicknamed Golden Octopussy. This tentacles the apex predator, and drags it to the deep.
What you have here is all gloriously silly, and at less than 68 minutes long, it doesn’t have time to hang about. However, sadly, it manages to do so, with the planning and execution of Yuan’s Plan B managing to bring things to a halt, just when it should really have been ramping up. Between that and the fact that most of the effects leave a good deal to be desired, this only ends up coming in at about the average for overall quality. Still a considerable improvement over Meg 2: The Trench though.