Rating: C-
Dir: Stefano Milla
Star: Melissa Rokuskie, Jennifer Mischiati, Christopher Showerman, Charles von Swayze
By coincidence, I watched this the day after seeing Alien On Stage, a documentary about a theatrical version of Alien, put on by an amateur dramatics society of workers at a Devonshire bus company. It may not have had the resources present here, but it had far more heart, and was also considerably more entertaining. It probably doesn’t help that this feels like two entirely separate movies, joined with some phone conversations and a meteor shower. Neither are particularly memorable, and splicing them together doesn’t help either, tending to derail whatever momentum is gained. We begin in the Arizona desert by the Grand Canyon, while Michael Paré is telling native legends to his young daughters.
However, you can basically forget Paré, because we then jump forward to where the siblings are now adult scientist, and about to carry out a breakthrough experiment in teleportation. Alice Wright (Rokuskie) is in the Arizona desert, while sister June (Mischati) is in a space station overhead. Though this is the sort of space station which, for budgetary reasons, has perfect gravity despite clearly being shown as not rotating. We get June waving her arms a little, pretending to be in zero-g, before she switches gravity on or something. I mention this in detail, because it demonstrates the kind of movie you’re watching. An unexpected meteor shower hits the station, infecting one crew member who transforms into something just different enough from Giger’s creation to avoid lawsuits.
Meanwhile, on the ground, the meteors land and cause even bigger problems, literally, for Alice and her team. These culminate in a giant rock monster rising from the earth, and heading towards Phoenix. Presumably not to check out the wide selection of restaurants offering the best in Southwest cuisine. What’s a perplexed scientist to do? Well, if you guessed, “Set the teleportation device to 11, and send said monster into outer space” – and I certainly did – you are one step ahead of the movie, which takes considerably longer to reach the same conclusion. To be fair, the effects for the creature are not bad (top), though – spoiler alert – sadly, it never does reach downtown Phoenix. I’d have paid good money to set it destroyed.
The other positive here is genuine Arizona location work, featuring some lovely Arizona scenery. Yeah, everyone knows the Grand Canyon. However, there are parts of the state which are arguably even prettier, and it’s nice to see some other bits. Just a shame it’s not in the service of a considerably better movie. Or, as noted earlier, two movies. It doesn’t show a great deal of confidence in the strength of your narrative if you have to keep switching from it, to “Meanwhile, elsewhere…” Feels like you are telling the audience, “Not enjoying this film? Don’t worry. There will be another one along in a moment.” Perhaps the tagline here should be: Buy one helping of mediocre science-fiction, get another (of equal or lesser value) free!