Mulva 2: Kill Teen Ape! (2004)

Rating: C-

Dir: Chris Seaver
Star: Debbie Rochon, Lauren P. Seavage, Chris Seaver, Meredith Host

According to the opening credits, this is Seaver’s 22nd film. While I certainly admire the industry involved, I must confess, my first thought on hearing this was, “Which will he reach first? Competence or three digits?” In hindsight, that’s a little harsh because, while still, uber-cheap and proud of it, this is clearly better than the original Mulva. Four years have clearly improved some of his skills, though the major plus is actually having a lead actress (Rochon), rather than a festering sore of dramatic talent. After the events of the preceding film, Teen Ape was disgruntled that Mulva got all the credit for saving Tromaville from the zombies, so got his “The Rag Tag Axle Rose Swagger Dance Death Squad” to beat her up.

Five years later, Mulva comes out of the resulting coma, now possessing breasts, acting ability and no lisp, to go on a roaring rampage of revenge against those who took her down. In other words, it’s a clearly loving, if not too accurate, Kill Bill parody, as Mulva v2.0 chews her way through the Death Squad to their master. A lot of the elements are low-budget versions taken from KB, mixed in with Seaver’s surrealist touches, e.g. his version of GoGo Yubari swings a dildo on a chain, or Vernita Green’s child being, for no readily apparent reason, an extra-terrestrial. Some of these may be references to the preceding features, such as the guy with a paper-bag on his head; it’s hard to separate the stuff that makes no sense from the stuff that’s supposed to make no sense.

The presence of Rochon is, as noted, a huge improvement, and in most technical aspects, this is a lot better too. Oddly, the main issue is exactly the same at Tarantino’s original: the second half lags badly, and it grinds to a complete help at the finish. Like its predecessor, this only runs about an hour, and that’s likely a good thing: it helps that three-quarters is devoted to the much superior Kill Bill Volume 1. However, it still doesn’t have too much to offer beyond aping (hohoho!) a much more sophisticated work. I’ll check back with Seaver in another 22 movies or so, see how he’s doing.