Kaiju Big Battel:
Terebi Sento

Star: Dr. Cube, Silver Potato, the Plaintains, Dusto Bunny

If you want to settle the argument over which is better, soup or sandwich, this DVD provides the answer: in the opening fight, a sandwich, armed with a club (work it out...), takes on a can of chicken noodle soup. Only in Kaiju - yes, they're back, world domination continuing apace. If you've not been infected, this is a good place to start, even if little can prepare you for the experience - a case of 151-proof rum might help though. Imagine professional wrestling populated by space aliens, hideous genetic mutants and comic-book superheroes, battling for the coveted title of Kaiju champion, in a universe that lurks just beneath the surface of our own existence.

Particular highlights: an arm-removal of a quality not seen since Holy Grail; a delightful Japanese pop song, Peel Me Now, complete with subtitled lyrics which rival the real thing for near-gibberish; and one participant giving birth during the show, leading to a Jerry Springer-like paternity brawl. Add bizarre adverts that may or may not be for real products (it's sometimes unclear), and the end product is likely the maddest DVD you'll see this year. Or, indeed, this decade. And that's not even counting the badge, pamphlets and fridge magnets included in the package.

Perhaps the coolest step up from previous Kaiju tapes seen is the addition of digital effects to the blows, which really enhances the fights enormously. On the downside, it barely lasts 50 minutes, including seven minutes of (admittedly often amusing) end credits; probably under half the remainder is actual ring footage. Announcer Louden Noxious does live up to his name, though largely redeemed himself on our couch, by pointing out, with admirable impartiality, when one bout became less than enthralling. But in a world where the line between madness and normality seems ever thinner, Kaiju may be humanity's last, best hope. Buy this, before your city falls victim to the evil Dr. Cube.


Words fail me...
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