 Princess Warrior
Dir: Lindsay Norgard
Star: Sharon Lee Jones, Dana Fredsti, Mark Pacific, Tony Riccardi
"Come on, take your clothes off:
the portal won't wait for ever." Actually, there are two princesses, the
good one teleporting from her planet to Earth to escape the bad one, via
the portal just mentioned - which, like The Fly can only transport
organic material, though heroine Ovule (you may snigger, I certainly did)
mysteriously manages to retain her shoes and panties. As for the rest of
the plot, I'll just quote the DVD chapter headings: "Princess Escapes/Wet
T-shirt contest 1 + 2/Spoon Up His Nose/Tattoo/Love Scene/Cat Fight/Happy
Ending". Any questions? This brushes against Incredibly Bad territory, with
bad princess Curette (Fredsti) splendidly evil. Unfortunately, it
withers on the vine in the middle, with the longest and most pedestrian
car-chase sequence I've ever endured. I got more entertainment value from
picking the security seal off the DVD box, and enjoying its pleasing
springiness. Still, bearable if viewed in the right spirit. Or even the
right four-pack.
C-
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