Fatman (2020)

Rating: C+

Dir: Eshom Nelms, Ian Nelms
Star: Mel Gibson, Walton Goggins, Marianne Jean-Baptiste, Chance Hurstfield

May: what better time for a Christmas movie? Several years before Red One turned Santa into the centre of an action film, this went that route. Admittedly, on a budget less than one-tenth as much, but it does so with more heart, though has its own problems. Coming out in the middle of COVID was one, and likely explains why this has largely been forgotten. Another is that there are two main strands to the story here, and you have to be patient, since it takes a while before they come together. They’re both somewhat appealing, and it’s never dull. But it feels like some elements are padding, and get in the way of the film going where it needs to be.

In Alaska, we have Chris Kringle (Gibson), his wife, Ruth (Baptiste), and their employees. They are struggling with declining business due to the increased naughtiness of children, and have to take on a military contract to survive. Meanwhile, spoiled rich brat Billy Wenan (Hurstfield) has a grudge against Santa, after – entirely appropriately – being left a lump of coal. He hires an assassin, known only as the Skinny Man (Goggins), and who has a bit of a grudge against the festive season himself, due to his own childhood trauma. His mission: kill Father Christmas and bring back a trophy to Billy. But it’s not as easy as it might seem, for to quote Chris, “You think I got this job because I’m fat and jolly?”

It feels as if there are a number of separate movies here, each somewhat interesting. But they end up struggling for dominance, rather than meshing together. Billy, the Skinny Man, and Chris all certainly have their moments, and are very well-written. For example, the last’s relationship with Mrs. Christmas is genuinely heart-warming. It just seems an odd fit, with Billy having a classmate kidnapped and tortured because she beat him at a science fair. Similarly, I’d have enjoyed a full movie about the Skinny Man, there’s a lot of mileage in his character. Watching him drive through Canada to Alaska, in what feels perilously close to real-time… Not so much. It’s well over an hour before he sees his target.

We might have got there quicker, if the whole military-festive complex plot had been discarded. It doesn’t do anything which wasn’t executed to much better effect in Toys. The soldiers seem to be there solely so the Skinny Man can chew up some cannon fodder on his way to the face-off against Santa. See also the weird relationship between Billy and his disabled grandmother, another aspect which has no particular payoff. It’s almost annoying to see a movie do a great deal right, while simultaneously half-assing it in other areas. I suspect this is a case where less, in terms of narrative, would have ended up being considerably more. Not a lump of coal by any means, it’s closer to a sensible pair of socks.